i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
