1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm just crazy horny about you
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
