I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
