i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
