i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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