it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
