Do you still have your period?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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