im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
