I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
