I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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