when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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