His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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