okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
