omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
