Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
and she was petting her beer can
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
