We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I enjoy the company of your penis
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
