Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize