i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
