are you still at the devil's house?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
