On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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