And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
