She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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