so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Randomize
