apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
