im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
