haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize