I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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