Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
