I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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