It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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