Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
