either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
