Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You were trust falling into bushes
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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