yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize