You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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