I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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