I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
