Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
