So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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