i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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