She's JV to your varsity
My sheets look like a crime scene.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize