If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
