OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
