Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
