Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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