High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
