i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
