so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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