Do you still have your period?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
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