its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm always down for nudity.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
