ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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