there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
