just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
