Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
