So drunk its hurt
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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