Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Welp...herpes.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
