I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
