This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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