When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize