are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
