just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize