marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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