We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
