It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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