Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
