i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
