So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
i think im in europe. pls send help
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
A bitchslap is in order.
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