It's like God shit irony all over that family
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
