The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
