walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
