Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We need a shit load of segways right now
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
