Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize