I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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