i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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