Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
