omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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