Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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