Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
