i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
