So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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