I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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