i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
