After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
